Black Testicles

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital,   
wearing an oxygen mask over his  mouth and nose,   
still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure   
A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.   
Nurse,' he mumbles, from behind the mask 'Are my testicles black?'   
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies 'I don't know,Sir.   
I'm only here to wash  your upper body.'   
He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, are my testicles black?'   
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles,   
she overcomes her  embarrassment and sheepishly   
pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his  in one hand and his testicles in the other,   
lifting and moving them around and around gently.
  Then, she takes a close look and says, 'No sir, they aren't and I assure
you, there's nothing wrong   with them, Sir !!'   
The man pulls off his oxygen mask,   
smiles at her and says very slowly,
'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen   
very, very closely.....
      ' A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s -b a c k ?'

Different Father

A man and his wife were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

The wife says to her husband, "For our anniversary this year, you can ask me one question, any question you want to. I will answer it truthfully."

The husband replies, "Okay, this has been bothering me for a long time, but I haven't had the courage to ask before...but I have noticed that all of our eight children look similar to one another except one.

I can't figure out how he got to look so different. Did he have a different father than the rest?"

The wife stops. She is unable to look her husband in the eyes.

Slowly she replies, "yes. Yes he did have a different father."

Her husband was taken aback. "Oh! Okay...I must know. Please tell me. Who was that child's father?"

Again she cannot look her husband in the eyes.

She is very distressed, and after a long silence she slowly said, "YOU."

Wrong Email Address

This one is priceless....A lesson to be learned  from typing the wrong email address!!!!

A Minneapolis couple  decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.  They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon  20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult  to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and  flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following  day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in  his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife.  However, he  accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without  realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in  Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral.   He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart  attack.

The widow decided to check her email expecting messages  from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she  screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found  his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which  read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date:  April 27, 2009

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have  computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved  ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in.

I've seen that  everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward  to seeing you then!!!! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine  was.

P. S. Sure is hot down  here!!!!