Report Card

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope
propped up  prominently on the centre of the bed. It was addressed, "Papa". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the
 letter with trembling hands:

 Dear Papa,

 It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm
 writing you. I had to elope with
my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a
 scene with mom and you.  I've been finding real
passion with Joan and she is so nice -- even with all
 her
piercings, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle
clothes.

 But it's not only the passion papa, she's
 pregnant and Joan said that we
 will
 be very happy. Even though you don't care for
 her as she is so much
 older
 than I, she already owns a small house in the
woods and has a stack of food and
 firewood
 for the coming rainy season.

 She wants to have many more children with me and
 that's now one of my
 dreams
 too. Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't
 really hurt anyone and we'll
 be
 growing it for us and trading it with her
 friends for all the cocaine
 and
 ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray
 that science will find a
cure
for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure
 deserves it!!

Don't worry Papa, I'm 15 years old now and I
 know how to take care of
 myself.

Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you
can get to know your
 grandchildren.

 Your son,
 Junior

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at
 the neighbor's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse
 things in life than my

report card that's in my desk centre drawer. I
 love you! Call when it
 is
safe for me to come home ;D ;D ;D